Complementarianism
Red Stone Church Elizabethton holds to a complementarian view in regards to the roles of men and women within the home and the church. Specifically, when we say complementarianism, we mean the following:
Men and women are created in the image of God and are equal in value in the sight of the Lord and mankind; however, while some roles within the home or church are held by both men and women, there are specific roles assigned by God to men and women that are distinct from one another, namely that of headship. Men and women were created by God to complement one another.
Complementarianism is a celebration of the ways in which men and women are both similar, made in the image of God, and distinct, in the ways that He created them and the roles that God has assigned to each. It is our belief that complementarianism is God’s design for men and women and, although sin taints God’s creation, that design offers freedom for men and women and is to be celebrated.
There are varying views even within complementarianism, from hard to soft, as well as churches who hold different views on men and women, with varying degrees of egalitarianism as well. While we believe that our view is Biblical, we recognize that many other believers, pastors, and churches, may hold different views on the subject. The purpose of this document is to outline what we believe at Red Stone Church Elizabethton and how complementarianism plays out within the functions of our church.
Throughout the document, the term elder refers to a man who meets the biblical qualifications for elders as outlined in (1 Tim. 3:1-7 and Titus 1:6-9). In addition, the term qualified man throughout this document refers to a man who either meets the qualifications of an elder and is yet to be ordained as an elder or refers to a man who seems to meet the qualifications of an elder (there are times in which a man is being vetted as a potential elder and may be given the opportunity to preach in the church, even though he has not been ordained as an elder).
Affirmations and Denials
(Note: these affirmations and denials are borrowed from The Village Church in their wording and are upheld by the elders of Red Stone Church in Elizabethton.)
We affirm that both men and women have been created in the image of God and are entitled to the privileges and held accountable to the responsibilities that come with reflecting our Creator.
We deny that either gender has been given or is entitled to greater dignity in society, the home, the church or the kingdom of God.
We affirm that both men and women are needed and necessary for the health and ministry of the church. Godly men and women should be visible partners in the corporate life of the church, deploying their diverse gifts for the good of the body. Simply put, all Christians contribute to the ministry of the church.
We deny that the church which flourishes without brotherly/ sisterly partnership is able to glorify God. (While there are churches where men flourish and women do not, this is neither a God-honoring church or a loving church model.)
We affirm that the role/function of an elder is reserved for qualified men. Elders are distinctly responsible for overseeing the church (1 Tim. 5:17; Titus 1:7; 1 Pet. 5:1-2) and preaching/teaching the Word on Sunday mornings and in larger gatherings within the church (1 Tim. 3:2; 2 Tim. 4:2; Titus 1:9).
We deny that the role of elder being withheld from women diminishes their importance or their influence in the church. The indispensable help women were created to give can and should be exercised in all manner of roles/offices in the church, excepting those reserved for qualified men (e.g. preaching and teaching)..
We affirm that all members of the church should be in glad submission to the elder body, and that all should be in glad and sacrificial submission to the Lordship of Jesus Christ, the Head of the Church.
We deny that all women are subject to the leadership and authority of all men. Further, biblical submission is not indicative of subordination or inequality, as seen in the Son’s submission to the Father (Phil. 2:1-11).
We affirm that complementarianism, rightly practiced, will lead to the recognizable flourishing of both sexes.
We deny any version of complementarianism or theological position that leads to the subjugation, abuse or neglect of any man or woman. We strongly denounce any distorted view of Scripture that contributes to the belief that biblical manhood or womanhood includes or permits practices such as marginalization, subjugation, intimidation, neglect or any form of abuse.
We affirm that all men and women have been created in the image of God and are of equal worth before God and viewed that way within the church, whether single or married.
We deny that single men and women must be married to be meaningful participants in the corporate life of the church. We deny that single men possess any authority over single women. The way that they love and serve their sisters should not patronize, victimize or show force, but rather should be the fruit of brotherly love, and vice versa.
Scriptural Evidence
God’s Design
While we understand that there are differences of opinion on the topic of men and women within the church, including differences among pastors and theologians, and individuals within our church body may hold positions different from ours and still be able to be a member, we sincerely believe that complementarianism is God’s original design for men and women. Understandably, it may be difficult for individuals with differing opinions to remain in fellowship within the church, since this is not a salvific issue, we do believe it is possible to remain a member of the church, even with a differing view. While individual church members may hold differing views, all those on the elder team must affirm this view on complementarianism as it is the position being taught within the church. In addition, community group leaders, although not required to fully adopt this position, must not use their position to teach and push for a position contrary to the church’s stated views.
While the word ‘complementarianism’ does not occur in Scripture, it is a helpful term for describing what can clearly be seen in God’s design of men and women prior to the fall in Genesis. During this time, before sin entered the world, two clear distinctions can be seen: first, men and women are equal in dignity and value and second, the roles that God assigned to each are distinct from one another as they collectively seek to carry out God’s will on earth.
Equal in Value
Genesis 1:26-31
“Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.’
So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.
And God blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.’ And God said, ‘Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.’ And it was so. And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.
In this beautiful passage, we can see the enormous value that God places on mankind as a whole. Man and woman are the crown of His creation. God has created all things and finishes by creating Adam and Eve in the garden. They are separate from the rest of creation in that they are made in the image of God. They are both given the mandate by God to: be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the rest of creation. This is important to note because without man and woman complementing one another, it will be impossible to complete God’s mandate for mankind. In order to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth, Adam and Eve need one another to produce children. In order to subdue and have dominion over the earth, Adam and Eve need one another to work together and to complement each other as they obey God’s command over all of mankind. And by extension, men and women need one another to continue to fulfill the cultural mandate that God gave in Genesis 1.
Distinct in Roles
Genesis 2:15-18
“The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, ‘You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.’
Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’
Genesis 2:20-24“The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man He made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said,
‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.”
As we continue to look at the creation account in Genesis, we can begin to see that there are clear and distinct roles assigned to Adam and Eve. Before the creation of Eve, God creates Adam and gives him some very clear distinctions, which were true for both Adam and Eve: “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” Adam is given the responsibility to know where the line in the sand is, to understand what is on and off limits and by being given the responsibility to know, he is also given the responsibility to protect that boundary.
Eve, as the eventual mother of Cain, Abel, and others, serves as a mother to all of mankind. While Adam and Eve both fulfill God’s mandate to be fruitful and multiply, and both are responsible to lead, care for, and teach their children God’s ways, Eve’s role is especially important in the raising of children and this is true of all women, both in the home, and in the church.. (Note: The raising of children can sometimes be an undervalued role in society, but it is incredibly important in the Christian home. See Paul’s mention of Timothy’s mother and grandmother and the impact of their multi-generational faith on him as an example of the immense value mothers have in raising their children (2 Tim. 1:5).
As the account continues, we see that God states, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Clearly God, being all sovereign, already knew that He would make Eve - it is not as if He was stumped and wondered who could partner with Adam. Instead, Adam needed to see for himself that he was incomplete in a way - not enough on his own - that he was unable to fulfill God’s command to multiply and subdue without another. That’s one of the reasons that God paraded the animals in front of Adam, so Adam could see that none of them were suitable to be his helpmate. Adam was lacking someone to complement himself; he needed a helper fit for him and Adam needed to see his own need.
It’s important to note what is meant by ‘helper’ when it is used in this passage. In our modern context, it can have negative connotations, sounding like someone inferior helping a superior to accomplish a task. But this is not at all what is meant in this passage. The Hebrew word for helper is “ezer,” which in general means to render aid. In this case, it is not someone inferior rendering aid. In fact, God is also referred to in Hosea 13:9 as Israel’s helper, “ezer.” In addition, Eve was created, at least in part (in addition to being created in the image of God), because Adam was insufficient to achieve God’s purposes on his own, just as Eve was insufficient on her own. In God’s design, He wanted man and woman to complement one another as they fulfilled His commands in the world.
While it’s clear that Adam and Eve were both essential to living out God’s commands, it still needs to be noted that their primary roles are not the same. Adam was the head of Eve. This can be seen in that he was created first (not making him superior), which Paul refers to in 1 Timothy 2. Adam’s headship as husband is also clearly articulated by Paul in Ephesians 5 in which he writes, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, His body, and is Himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” Again, Adam’s headship is not because he is superior to Eve, but instead is a role or position that he is created and called by God to fulfill.
Adam was given the primary responsibility to uphold the boundaries the LORD created around the tree of knowledge. Again, it is clearly seen in Genesis 2 that God explains the boundary around the tree of knowledge to Adam. This is as much a responsibility as it is an authority. One of Adam’s roles is to obey the Lord and to lead his wife and his children to do the same. When the fall takes place, and Eve is deceived, Adam is directly beside her. In his moment of responsibility, he abdicates, and sin enters the world.
Adam was given the responsibility to name the animals and also his wife. Adam is at work, stewarding over creation, by giving names to the animals. God gives this responsibility to Adam so that he can begin to fulfill a portion of God’s mandate to him and so that Adam can see he needs a helper to complement him as well. When Eve is created, Adam likewise names her, as an act of blessing her, because he finally sees one who is fit to be his helper, his complement, who will work alongside him to fulfill God’s cultural mandate.
The Fall Taints God’s Design
Genesis 3
“Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, ‘Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden?’ And the woman said to the serpent, ‘We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’ But the serpent said to the woman, ‘You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.’ So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked.”
In this moment, it needs to be stated that Adam and Eve both fail in God’s design for men and women in some way. In their sin, they both rebel against God’s design. First, it must be noted that Adam failed in God’s design as the head of his household. God gave Adam the instructions surrounding what was allowed in the garden and what was off limits. As the husband and head of his wife, Adam was to uphold God’s boundary, to protect his wife, and to stand up for what was right. Instead, Adam abdicated this responsibility and left it to his wife. The passage states that Adam was with her, standing by her side, and allowing all of this to take place. He should have spoken up, but he did not, and sin entered the world.
Second, we see Eve’s sin as well. She was to follow her husband, to complement him, to work alongside of him to fulfill God’s design for the world. Instead of turning to her husband who was with her, and both of them responding faithfully by upholding God’s Word, she instead adds to God’s Word. In Genesis 2:16-17, the Lord said, “‘You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.’” But Eve added to God’s words by saying that they were not to even touch the tree. She overstepped God’s words by adding her own and both she and Adam did not work together in this moment, each instead acting on their own (Adam in his abdication and Eve in her stepping into Adam’s place - where Adam had the primary responsibility to uphold God’s standard). Instead of Adam and Eve working together to fulfill God’s plan for them, they each fall far short, rebel against God, eat of the fruit and in their sin, lose their innocence.
And because of this, sin taints God’s design for complementarity. The Lord speaks to each involved, the serpent, Eve, and Adam, and curses each for their sin. In His words, the Lord highlights ways in which relationships will forever be hard for men and women and how sin will impede Adam and Eve in their ability to fulfill God’s commands.
“To the woman He said, ‘I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.’ And to Adam he said, ‘Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, ‘You shall not eat of it,’ cursed is the ground because of you; in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life; thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you; and you shall eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.’”
In this moment, sin has tainted mankind’s relationship with God and with one another and it impedes mankind from fulfilling God’s commands. In His cultural mandate, God commands Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply, to fill the earth and subdue it. It is a plan that requires them both and requires complementarity. Because of sin, God curses them, making childbearing (being fruitful and multiplying) more painful and difficult; and He makes work (subduing the earth), more painful and difficult as well. Although sin taints complementarity, God does not change or take away His cultural mandate nor His design for men and women. They are still to be fruitful and multiply, to fill the earth and subdue it. And they still need one another to do it, but it is now harder.
It is also harder relationally for men and women. God says to Eve, and by extension to all women, “‘your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.’” Before, there was freedom in God’s design of complementarianism. Adam and Eve were fully a team, complementing one another, working together to obey His commands. But because of the fall, there are now relationship struggles. Adam abdicated his role and Eve operated on her own rather than as a team with her husband. God says that there will now be a relationship struggle between men and women similar to sin creating a chasm between God and mankind.
It is important to note that complementarianism within a fallen world will never look as it once did prior to the fall; however, the position of complementarianism should not be discarded because our sins taint it. Instead, it is the responsibility of the Church to seek to work together to rediscover God’s good design for men and women in complementarianism and to work towards living it out as best as possible in a fallen world with the help of the Holy Spirit.
But Are We All Not One in Christ?
Oftentimes, Galatians 3:28 is referenced to argue against complementarianism. This verse states that there is neither male nor female and we are all one in Christ. For those with this view, the argument is that clearly there should no longer be differences in roles between men and women - because we are all equal, there is no role that either a man or a woman cannot fulfill. Unfortunately, there are two problems with this argument: first, arguing that there is no longer male and female distinctions, and therefore there are no roles separate among men and women but both can hold the same roles or offices within the home or church, seems to go against very clear distinctions that Paul makes regarding roles within the church (namely that of the role of elder being reserved for qualified men only), and second, this verse is being taken out of context when applied in this way (see below).
Galatians 3:23-29
“Now before faith came, we were held captive under the law, imprisoned until the coming faith would be revealed. So then, the law was our guardian until Christ came, in order that we might be justified by faith. But now that faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian, for in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise.”
When reading this verse in the larger context of Galatians 3, it is clear that he is in no way erasing the distinction between men and women. Instead, he is making an argument against the Judaizers of his day, those who were adding requirements to Gentile believers by saying that in order to truly be a Christian, they needed to become Jews in addition to Christians, including circumcision. Paul is arguing that all Christians are actually offspring of Abraham and children of the promise of God that through Abraham all nations would be blessed.
In the culture of Paul’s day, heirs were males, and in particular, first-born males would receive the lionshare of the inheritance within a family. Women did not have that privilege. By saying there were no longer Jews and non-Jews, males receiving inheritance and females not receiving it, instead, Paul is arguing for an equality through the Gospel by stating that all believers are full-inheritors of the promises of God through the Gospel of Jesus Christ. This is true equality for all in Christ. Kevin DeYoung writes more fully,
“So what does it mean that we are all one? In what way is there neither male nor female? Does sexual difference cease to matter for those in Christ? Certainly not, or the logic behind Paul’s condemnation of same-sex sexual intimacy would not make sense (Romans 1:1 8-32). Nowhere in Paul’s letters do we get the smallest hint that male and female have ceased to be important categories for life and ministry. Paul is not obliterating sexual difference across the board. Rather, he is reminding the Galatians that when it comes to being right before God and being together in Christ, the markers of sex, ethnicity, and station are of no advantage.
At the risk of importing our modern sensibilities into the biblical world, we can say, in a carefully defined sense, that Paul teaches an equality of the sexes. Both men and women are held prisoners under the law (3:23), both are justified by faith (3:24), both are set free from the bonds of the law (3:25), both are sons of God in Christ (3:26), both are clothed in Christ (3:27), and both belong to Christ as heirs according to the promise (3:29). Paul’s point is not that sexual maleness and femaleness are abolished in Christ, but that sexual difference neither gets one closer to God nor makes one farther from Him.”
Complementarianism within the Church
While looking at God’s design for complementarianism in Genesis focuses on men and women in the home, the principles for how it plays out within the church are the same because God’s Word often refers to the church being a family (Eph. 2:19, Matt. 12:49-50, 1 John 3:1-2, John 1:12-12, 1 Tim. 5:1-2, etc.). Within the family unit, the husband is the head of the family; within individual churches, elders are the heads of churches; within the universal church, Christ is the head; and within the Trinity, God the Father functions as the head. Within the Trinity, all members of the Godhead are equal - they are all God, and yet, they all function in specific roles - God the Father as head, God the Son submitting to the Father and being sent into the world, and God the Holy Spirit being sent out by God the Father and God the Son - all equal and yet distinct.
In the church, just as in the home, men and women are equally made in the image of God and are therefore equal in value and dignity. Men are not more valuable than women and women are not more valuable than men. While some roles of men and women in the church may overlap just as in the home (spiritually and physically nurturing for children for example), there are distinct roles given for the church, namely that of the office of elder and preaching/teaching. Within the church, elders function as heads of churches, clearly falling under the supreme headship of Christ, and all members of the church submit to the godly leadership of elders and the whole church works together to fulfill the Great Commission.
1 Timothy 3:1-7
“The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violin but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.”
Titus 1:6-9
“If anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination. For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick=tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. He must hold firm to the trustworthy Word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.”
Scripture is clear that the office of elder is reserved for qualified men. That is an important distinction to be made. It is not merely for any man, as if men are more valuable than women, but it is reserved for qualified men - for men who meet the qualifications laid out in the above passages.
Notice too, the focus on a qualified man who is able to lead his own household. This language connects back to creation in Genesis in which Adam was the head of his wife - not better than, but in the role of headship. Men are to fulfill their roles of complementarity as heads of their families. The connection in this passage is that in order for a man to be qualified as an elder, they must be fulfilling their complementary role in the home because they will serve in that capacity within the church as well.
Additionally, the role of teaching to the body is reserved for qualified men, elders within their church, or men that are given temporary responsibility to teach by the elders of that body. All others, men who are not elders or given temporary responsibility to teach, and women, are to sit under the biblical authority and teaching of the elders of the church. While passages such as 1 Timothy 2 have been often abused in a patriarchal way to degrade the value of the gift of women within the church, they are important passages to view in regards to roles of men and women within the church.
1 Timothy 2:8-15
“I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness – with good works. Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. Yet she will be saved through childbearing – if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.”
(Note: To help with understanding this passage, much of the following is quoted from Kevin DeYoung’s Men and Women in the Church: A Short, Biblical, Practical Introduction. Kevin DeYoung is an author and pastor. (While much of his book is helpful in understanding complementarianism, it is best to note that his views lean towards a harder complementarianism than our church.)
In regards to worship within the church specifically, Paul is addressing both men and women, although much of this passage is in regards to women. DeYoung writes,
The men are to lift up their hands in prayer. The emphasis, though, is not on posture. Prayer in the Bible is sometimes standing, sometimes kneeling, sometimes lying prostrate (1 Kings 8:54; Psalm 95:6; Daniel 6:10; Matthew 26:39; Luke 22:41; Acts 9:40; Revelation 11:16). Posture is not the point; piety is. Men should pray with holy hands, without anger or quarreling. Paul’s instructions move inward, from appearance in prayer to attitude in prayer.In the context of the passage, we see that Paul’s emphasis is on the heart. In worship, men are to pray with holy hands - meaning without sin. Of course, only Jesus takes away sins, but the point is that God calls all believers to live lives of holiness and men are to take this seriously, worshiping God as men who are genuine Christ-followers, living lives of holiness and worshiping the LORD from humble postures of heart. Likewise, they are to worship without anger or quarreling - both in their vertical relationship with God and their horizontal relationships with others, men are to worship the LORD with holiness.
Continuing on, DeYoung writes,
“Paul now shifts his focus and addresses the women. He commands women to dress modestly and then adds three clarifying clauses: First, women are to dress with modesty and self-control. There should be a sense of propriety, moderation, and a refraining from sensuality. Second, women are to dress not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes. Such items flaunted wealth and drew attention to external beauty rather than to “the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit” (1 Peter 3:4). Third, women are to dress with good works. As with the men, Paul moves inward, from appearance to attitude. His main concern is that women adorn themselves in a manner fitting the gospel.
These two verses, 1 Timothy 2:9-10, have been used to negate whatever else Paul commands of women in the rest of 1 Timothy 2. If braided hair is cultural, so the argument goes, then the other commands for women must be as well. But the prohibition regarding braided hair and the like is far from Paul’s main point. It only clarifies how women are to dress modestly. Paul’s focus is on internal maturity and its accompanying external modesty. Braided hair, gold, pearls, and expensive clothes are not intrinsic evils. Heaven is full of gold and pearls (Revelation 21:18-21), and the Old Testament priestly garments were expensive and ornate (Exodus 28). The problem with these items is their abuse.
This is confirmed by the similar passage in 1 Peter 3:3-4. Women are commanded, “Do not let your adorning by external - the braiding of hair, and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear - but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart.” [Peter’s words here are to admonish those who were allowing their outward appearance to take precedence over the inward condition of their hearts.}
Paul continues: Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. (1 Timothy 2:11)
First off, it must be said that Paul is saying something countercultural by commanding women to learn. Some segments of Judaism considered it downright sinful for women to learn the Scriptures. Paul disagreed. He was eager for women to learn, provided they did so in quietness and full submission.
Quietness or silence (2:12) is not meant to be demeaning. Both are positive qualities for the learner (see Ecclesiastes 9:17). And as we’ve seen from 1 Corinthians 11 and 14, silence is not an absolute command encompassing every element of corporate worship. Silence, in this text as well as 1 Corinthians 14, refers to the teaching ministry of the church. In the context of corporate worship, women are not to be teachers, but quiet learners. [All members of the church, both men and women, who are not the teaching elder/pastor are to be quiet learners. However, Paul is giving specific command to women due to the cultural issues of this congregation. While they are cultural in nature, they are still applicable to us in that a guiding principle can be gleaned i.e. women (and men who are not qualified, teaching elders) are to be quiet learners.]
“All submissiveness” clarifies why women are expected to be quiet. They are to cultivate a spirit of submissiveness, specifically a wife to her husband (Ephesians 5:22; Colossians 3:18; TItus 2:5; 1 Peter 3:1). In short, a woman who learns quietly embraces her submissive role and honors God’s design for the sexes.
“I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet.” (1 Timothy 2:12)
Verses 11 and 12 form a single unit. The central idea – women should be silent – bookends the unit. Thus, the command for quietness and submission begins verse 11, and the command of silence finishes verse 12. In the middle we have an explanation for what it means for women to learn in quietness and full submission. Women should not teach (respecting the command for quietness) and should not have authority over a man (respecting the command for all submissiveness).
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In the end, the best option is to see “no teaching” and “no authority over a man” as the explanation of what it means for a woman to learn in quietness (without teaching) and full submission (without authority over men). Thus, verse 12 could be summarized: “God desires women to be silent and submissive in the church, which means that women should not be public teachers over men nor exercise authority over men.” Two commands are in view, not just one.”
Kevin DeYoung’s words are largely helpful for understanding this somewhat difficult passage. There are some things that Paul references that were specific to the cultural context of the day - head coverings and being quiet within services because there were women speaking out and interrupting the worship gatherings. But Paul’s words still highlight principles that are true for our modern context today as we see that all, men and women, are to seek to not interrupt within worship gatherings, but to instead submit to godly teaching within the church.
In terms of head coverings, Paul is speaking to a woman submitting to her husband’s authority within the home (and by extension to the teaching elders of the church and to a greater extension, Christ) and he points out the need to talk to their husbands within the home about the teachings in the worship gatherings rather than disrupting those gatherings. In our context today, we can understand that Paul is not insisting that women be completely silent within the church, as some would attest (this would seem to go against his words in 1 Corinthians 11:5), but instead, the focus is on teaching and the role of authority. (While in our context (and in particular at Red Stone where we pass the mic), men and women have opportunity to ask questions as necessary after many teachings, but our goal in asking questions is to seek clarification and the glory of God, rather than to cause interruptions or to overstep the authority given by God to teaching elders within the church.) Because of God’s complementarian design for men and women, only qualified, gifted men (elders and pastors) are to teach and have authority within the church.
While there are many more Biblical passages that could be looked at and discussed surrounding men and women in the church, we as a church are confident that these verses highlight our view for complementarianism and that other passages support this view, and specifically for boundaries (like the boundaries set by God in the garden) they support the proper role of men and women in the church. All men and women are created in the image of God and are equal in dignity and value; however, when it comes to teaching and authority within the church, only qualified men are given authority by God to step into that role.
Complementarianism at Red Stone Church Elizabethton
The purpose of this final section is to flesh out what complementarianism means at Red Stone Church in Elizabethton. While we affirm the following for our church, we want to highlight that these particulars are not necessarily prescriptive in the Bible and that various churches, while holding to a complementarian view of men and women, may set aside different particulars for how it plays out at their church. With that in mind, we hold these particulars with open-hands, believing that not every church needs to live them out as we do. Likewise, we welcome conversations with church members in these matters as we seek to glorify God and obey Him in our position on complementarianism within the church.
In addition, our goal within this section is not to create a list of rules for the church to follow and therefore, may fall into the category of legalism. Instead, we want to describe in general how we believe complementarianism to play out within our local church body. Aside from a few specific areas that are clear within Scripture, we believe that there are ample opportunities for women to serve within the church body. In addition, since elders represent a very small portion of the church population, and all of the saints are to be about the works of ministry, women have many great opportunities to serve the Lord and we want to celebrate this and reiterate the importance of women within our church body.
Elders/Pastors/Shepherds
The role of elders and pastors within the church are reserved only for qualified men (according to the Biblical qualifications).
Deacons
The role of deacons within the church, those who serve, can be fulfilled by both men and women who are qualified (according to the Biblical qualifications).
Community Group Leaders
Community group leaders are either men, or men and women co-leaders (husbands and wives), who serve the church by leading a community group. Where there are men and women co-leaders (husbands and wives), the man holds the complementarian position as head of his spouse and holds the primary spiritual responsibility of leading the group. Whereas men and women co-lead, they may both guide the conversation by asking questions of the group, shepherd (the man over all members of the group, and the woman over the women of the group), pray within the group, read and quote Scripture in the group, and lovingly care for group members.
We hold to this view because within our church context, our view of community group leaders are that they function like shepherds. While community group leaders are not elders, nor do they have to meet the qualifications of an elder to lead a community group, we believe that their leadership within a group is elder-like (in protecting the teaching of the church from false doctrine, in seeking to shepherd the group they lead, etc.). To further clarify, those who lead community groups do not hold the same authority nor responsibility as an elder within that group; however, as a spiritual leader of that group, they have been given temporary and restricted authority and responsibility by the elders of the church to lead that group (they report to the elders of the church and seek help from the elders of the church for issues and/or counseling needs that are above their ability to meet as a lay person).
While a woman would not lead a typical community group, one that is focused on sermon reflection or diving into God’s Word, doctrine, or other theological concepts, there may be occasions in which a woman, for a season, leads a group on topics such as, grieving well, counseling, or other topics where the Bible is used as a resource and guide but not taught explicitly.
Teaching Classes Outside of the Sunday Morning Gathering
In regards to teaching classes within the church, yet outside of the Sunday morning gathering (e.g. counseling 101, apologetics, evangelism, etc.), classes may be taught by either a man or a woman, or both, so long as it is not clearly and overtly teaching the Bible, theology, doctrine, etc. For example, a woman may teach a class to mixed sexes on things such as counseling, how to grieve, or cultural issues, but if it is clearly a class on a book of the Bible, or teaching the Bible, or theology and doctrine, then it must be either a man and woman co-leading, or a woman teaching other women only.
In regards to teaching children and youth classes, either a man or a woman, or both, may teach mixed sex classes.
Reading Scripture or Praying Aloud in Church
Either men or women may read Scripture aloud or pray from the front of the church (or from the congregation). So long as in reading the Scripture, a woman is not teaching, then a woman may read from the Bible or share passages during the share time portion of the worship service.
Serving Communion or Baptism at Church
In regards to these important institutions within the church, when it comes to either of these taking place within the church at weekly, Sunday-morning gatherings, Scripturally, a qualified man must oversee and lead both of these institutions. These are institutions of the church and, because the worship service is to be conducted in order in line with Paul’s instructions on qualified men teaching and exercising authority within the church, and because they are in many ways similar to the Old Testament temple proceedings in which only a qualified man could lead, therefore it is necessary for a pastor or elder to lead, teach, and oversee both baptism and communion at these weekly gatherings.
It should be noted; however, that a) because the Great Commission is given by Jesus to all believers, including baptizing of new believers, that we believe a woman may baptize new believers when the baptism occurs outside of the church services (see the baptism of the Ethiopian eunuch in Acts 8 for example). And b) as long as a qualified pastor/ elder is leading the ordinance, we do not see Scripture restricting a woman from participating in other ways, whether that be helping baptize a child, assisting with distributing the elements alongside of her husband, etc. We also do not see an issue with women leading and serving these inside of female-only gatherings.
Other Examples
While Scripture is clear in a couple of places about limitations on women (and men who are not qualified) in regards to roles within the church – elders/pastors – by and large, there are many opportunities for women to serve and to lead at Red Stone Church in Elizabethton. We celebrate the giftings of all women within our congregation and highly affirm that without women, we would not be able to fulfill our roles within complementarity, including functioning as a church body. All members of the church are needed to serve within their giftings in order for the church to build itself up in love.
Among other ways of serving and even leading, women may: serve or lead on the finance team, missions team, hospitality team, set-up team, prayer team, outreach events, raising missions support, conducting missions trips, as well as serving and leading in children and youth ministries and women’s-specific ministries and women’s Bible studies. While both men and women may serve within children’s ministry in the church, we believe that women have a greater role within this area of ministry as it connects closely to the role of motherhood.
We see complementarianism as God’s design for men and women and is therefore a freeing view of men and women within the church and not restrictive. While sin on the part of either men or women have tainted many people’s views on complementarianism throughout church history, we do not believe that this Biblical doctrine should be tossed out or changed in any way. Instead, our desire is to understand God’s original design and to prayerfully seek to walk out complementarianism within our church that glorifies God, celebrates our similarities, and celebrates our differences in regards to roles within the church and the home.
Helpful “Principles” to Determine Appropriateness for a Woman to Lead or Teach
It can sometimes be difficult to understand when it is or is not appropriate for a woman to teach in mixed sex groups. While there are clear boundaries in Scripture on this topic in regards to Sunday morning teachings, authoritative positions, or guiding the doctrine and teaching of the church, it seems neither wise nor loving to set multiple rules that are not clearly outlined within Scripture on the topic.
Instead, guiding principles can be helpful and even loving as we all seek to uphold Biblical principles concerning men and women within the church. Mary A. Kassian, a writer, speaker, and professor at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, wrote an article entitled Women Teaching Men - How Far is Too Far? She discusses this very topic and provides eight helpful principles that she follows when determining whether or not to speak to mixed sex groups.
Context: congregational (church) ⟶ non-congregational. Is this a local-church or is it not exactly a church?
Nature: exegetical ⟶ testimonial/inspirational. Am I forcefully interpreting a text of Scripture or sharing from my life and experience with biblical support?
Authority: governmental (directive) ⟶ non-governmental (non-directive). Am I establishing the official standard for the community?
Relationship: close (personal/relational) ⟶ distant (impersonal/non-relational). Am I in a community relationship with these men? Am I seeking to mentor them?
Commitment: formal ⟶ informal. Have the listeners made a formal commitment to me or to this community?
Obligation: obligatory ⟶ voluntary. Are the listeners obliged to listen to the teaching that takes place in this context? Can they be disciplined and corrected for failing to obey?
Constancy: habitual (ongoing) ⟶ occasional. Does this happen often and repetitively or infrequently?
Maturity: sister ⟶ mother. Does my age and spiritual maturity create a situation where I am speaking as a mother would to her sons?
Again, while hard and fast rules are not necessary, guiding principles such as these are helpful and easy to apply to any local church.